The mind behind the behaviour
Have you ever found yourself doing something you promised yourself you wouldn't do?
Reacting in a way you didn't expect?
Knowing something intellectually, but still struggling to act on it?
Saying, “I don't know why I keep doing this”?
This is where understanding the subconscious mind can become useful.
Because not everything that influences what we think, feel and do is happening within our conscious awareness.
What do we mean by “the subconscious mind”?
“Subconscious mind” is a commonly used term for mental processes that can operate outside our full conscious awareness.
These processes can include learned associations, automatic responses, habits, expectations, emotional reactions and deeply familiar ways of interpreting situations.
You don't consciously think through every decision you make.
You don't have to remind yourself how to walk, recognise a familiar voice or respond to every familiar situation from scratch.
Your mind is constantly processing information and drawing on what it has learned.
Some of that processing is conscious.
Some of it happens automatically.
And sometimes, those automatic patterns can influence our behaviour before we have consciously decided what we want to do.
This is what we mean at Best Life Catalyst when we talk about:
Understanding the mind behind the behaviour.
Your conscious mind and automatic patterns
Your conscious mind is the part of your mental experience you are aware of in the moment.
It is involved in things such as:
- Deliberate thinking
- Making conscious decisions
- Reasoning
- Planning
- Focusing your attention
- Evaluating options
But your behaviour is not determined by conscious thought alone.
You can consciously decide:
“I am going to speak up.”
And then find yourself staying quiet.
You can consciously decide:
“I am going to stop procrastinating.”
And then find yourself avoiding the task again.
You can consciously know:
“I am worthy.”
And still feel deeply uncomfortable receiving recognition.
That doesn't necessarily mean you are irrational or lacking discipline.
It may mean that an automatic pattern is competing with your conscious intention.
How do these patterns develop?
Our minds learn from experience.
As we move through life, we develop associations about ourselves, other people and the world around us.
Some are helpful.
Some become outdated.
Some may have developed during particularly important or emotionally significant experiences.
For example, a child who repeatedly experiences criticism might begin to associate making mistakes with rejection.
Someone who experienced unpredictable conflict may become highly alert to changes in other people's moods.
Someone who learned that being agreeable earned approval may eventually struggle to say no.
Over time, these experiences can contribute to patterns of expectation and response.
The person may not consciously think:
“I am going to behave this way because of something that happened years ago.”
The response may simply feel automatic.
The behaviour is the clue
At Best Life Catalyst, we often look beyond the behaviour itself.
Not because every behaviour has one hidden explanation.
And not because everything can be traced back to childhood.
Rather, because behaviour can provide useful information.
If you repeatedly:
- People please
- Procrastinate
- Avoid being seen
- Overthink
- Become anxious
- Self-sabotage
- Struggle to speak up
- Choose familiar but unhealthy patterns
it can be useful to become curious about what is happening underneath the behaviour.
Ask:
What am I believing?
What am I expecting?
What am I afraid might happen?
What does this behaviour give me in the moment?
What does it help me avoid?
Where does this response feel familiar?
These questions can take you from simply judging the behaviour to understanding it.
Why knowing isn't always enough
One of the most frustrating human experiences is:
“I know better, so why don't I do better?”
You can understand something intellectually and still struggle to change your response.
That is because insight and automatic learning are not necessarily the same thing.
You might know:
“I don't need everyone's approval.”
And still feel anxious when someone is disappointed with you.
You might know:
“Making a mistake doesn't mean I'm a failure.”
And still feel terrified of getting something wrong.
You might know:
“I am capable.”
And still shrink when it is time to be seen.
The intellectual understanding matters.
But sometimes there is more to explore.
The role of emotion
Our patterns aren't only made up of thoughts.
They can also involve emotional and physical responses.
Think about a situation that makes you nervous.
You may notice your heart beating faster.
Your muscles may tense.
Your stomach may change.
Your thoughts may speed up.
You may want to escape or avoid the situation.
All of this can happen before you have consciously worked through what is happening.
This is one reason simply telling yourself to “calm down” or “think positively” doesn't always change the response.
Understanding the pattern can give you another place to begin.
Is the subconscious a separate part of your brain?
Not literally.
The subconscious mind is not a little hidden person inside your brain making decisions behind your back.
It is also not a scientifically established percentage of your mind that can be neatly measured as “95% subconscious and 5% conscious.”
Those percentages are sometimes used in popular psychology and hypnosis conversations, but they should not be presented as established scientific measurements.
At Best Life Catalyst, “subconscious” is used as a practical term for mental processes and patterns that operate outside full conscious awareness.
That distinction matters.
We want the language to be useful and responsible.
What happens when a pattern becomes automatic?
Imagine learning to drive.
In the beginning, every action requires conscious attention.
Mirror.
Signal.
Gear.
Brake.
Steering.
Eventually, much of the process becomes familiar and automatic.
You don't have to consciously narrate every movement.
The same broad principle of learning applies to many behaviours and responses.
Repeated experiences can make certain responses increasingly familiar.
The challenge is that the mind can learn patterns that are no longer useful.
And because they are familiar, they can continue to feel automatic.
Can automatic patterns change?
Yes, patterns can change.
But change is not always instant, and there is no single process that works identically for everyone.
Changing a pattern can involve awareness, reflection, practice, new experiences, behavioural changes and, where appropriate, therapeutic support.
This is where approaches such as hypnosis and RTT may be useful for some people.
Hypnosis can provide a state of focused attention in which a person may be more receptive to therapeutic suggestions and able to explore thoughts, associations and experiences in a different way.
RTT incorporates hypnosis alongside other therapeutic techniques to explore beliefs, meanings and patterns connected to the concern being addressed.
The aim is not to “reprogram” a person like a computer.
It is to create an opportunity to understand and work with patterns that may be operating outside full conscious awareness.
Where hypnosis fits in
Hypnosis does not give someone access to a magical hidden database containing every reason they behave the way they do.
It also does not guarantee that a particular memory will appear or that a memory revealed during hypnosis is automatically historically accurate.
Instead, hypnosis can provide a focused state in which a person may explore internal experiences, associations, beliefs and emotional responses.
This is one reason it can be useful within therapeutic work.
You remain an active participant.
You are not unconscious.
You are not handing over control of your mind.
And you are not being forced to accept a belief.
Understanding is not the same as blaming
Exploring subconscious patterns is not about blaming your parents.
It is not about blaming your childhood.
It is not about finding someone responsible for everything you struggle with today.
Life is more complicated than that.
Your present behaviour is influenced by many things — including your current environment, choices, relationships, habits, circumstances and learned patterns.
Understanding where a pattern may have come from is simply one way of creating more awareness around it.
The more clearly you can see a pattern, the more opportunity you may have to decide what you want to do with it.
From automatic to intentional
The goal isn't to eliminate every automatic response.
That wouldn't be realistic.
Automatic processes are part of how the human mind functions.
The goal is to become more aware of the patterns that are no longer serving you and develop greater choice around how you respond.
Instead of:
“This is just who I am.”
you can begin asking:
“Is this who I am — or is this something I learned?”
Instead of:
“I can't help it.”
you can begin asking:
“What is happening inside me when I respond this way?”
Instead of:
“What's wrong with me?”
you can begin asking:
“What is this behaviour trying to tell me?”
That shift can be powerful.
The BLC approach
At Best Life Catalyst, we are interested in the space between:
What you consciously want
and
what you repeatedly find yourself doing.
That space is worth exploring.
Because sometimes the behaviour isn't the problem.
The behaviour is the clue.
And when you begin to understand the mind behind the behaviour, you can begin to create more conscious choices about what happens next.
You don't have to be broken to want to heal.
You don't have to hate who you are to want to change.
And you don't have to understand everything before you begin.
Sometimes the first step is simply becoming curious.
Understand the mind.
Change the pattern.
Show up fully.
Heal. Rise. Shine.